i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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