It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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