And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
send nudes
from the living room?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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