so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
