I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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