I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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