Yo dont text me then not text me
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Terrible idea I love it
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
