he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
