DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
