I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
