Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
