rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
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