I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
