What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
