At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
