I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize