I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
this hospital has no fireball
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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