we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
