when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
