if you like me you must not know who I am
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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