he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
