You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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