you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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