it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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