Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
