Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
