Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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