Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
