i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
