Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
