He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
