I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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