A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
