I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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