i think my tv is drunk
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just gargled with NyQuil
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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