He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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