but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
