You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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