So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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