i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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