WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
