I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
