Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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