I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
