u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
