Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
