I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
