I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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