we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
