I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
