She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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