He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
