dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
