Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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