i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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