I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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