she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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