I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
