The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
