based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
