somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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