No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
