You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
