3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
