She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
