Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
