It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
