Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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