How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
