also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
