Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
