the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
